Lessons on Sabbatical...Mac vs. PC

I am  on sabbatical this month and won't be blogging much.

 I know... I am in the middle of a series on worry and some of you are checking back to see if the third article in the series has been posted.

So...worry has been postponed! ;-)

I am out of town without my own laptop and am having to use my husband's Mac to work from...arrrgghh!

I know...I know...all of you mac users are saying, "so what's the problem with that?"  The problem is that 'I'm a PC'... getting accustomed to this keyboard and several other differences are really difficult, especially when I know I will just go back to my PC when I get home.  Not to mention the fact that I like to use my own photos for my articles now and ALL of the photos I need are on my laptop at home.  My laptop is at home because the screen has been damaged and it is now 'toggled' to another screen, rendering it useless as a laptop but great as a desktop.

I  have a looming deadline on two book projects and long to get back to my PC at home. And yes! I do miss my kids and my puppy!

In the meantime, I am left to work with what I have and am thankful (she said, tongue in cheek).

Before this month I had been musing that my next laptop would be a Mac.  However, I am now seriously rethinking that, as I bungle around on my husband's Mac.

  So now begs the question...are you a Mac or a PC and why? I would love to hear your thoughts on the Mac verses PC war!

Update: 
 I made the switch to a mac. It took a little getting used to at first, just the way to copy paste, in the beginning was maddening. However, the photo drag and drop thing was AWESOME.  Now…not sure I would revert back to a PC.  I love my mac! (2014)

"Worry...is it choking the life out of you?" Part Two...Sleepless nights no more.

Do you spend nights on end...sleepless nights…worrying?  I think that most of us at one point or another experience the burden of seemingly unending anxiety, apprehension, worry, and sleepless nights.

We tend to lose sleep over things such as the following:

• Our finances...not enough money at the end of the paycheck. "...okay, all the bills are paid but now there is no money for groceries! What are we going to eat?"
• Our health...my husband's blood pressure; my son's disability and trying to prevent another migraine because, for him, any migraine could lead to another stroke or worse; my daughter's pregnancy and constant nausea now with gall bladder troubles thrown into the mix; my own neck and back woes.
• Family troubles...our children's future; extended family woes such as aging and health concerns, and more.
• Job...will I ever be able to bring in any income with my writing; will the next paycheck come on time; God has moved us many times through the years...how long will we be in our present ministry?
• ___________Fill in the blank...ad nauseum...we could just about make any issue we face in life an issue to worry over couldn't we?

Why do we worry so?  I blame the FALL...you know...back in the Garden of Eden where Adam and Eve took that first bite off the forbidden fruit.  I basically blame all of our woes, all of mankind's woes on the Fall.  That's where mankind tried to put self before God.  Where he didn't just take God at His word but thought he knew better and took things into his own hands.   We continue to do that today don't we?  We think by worrying that we can add something to our lives.  We think that if we worry  we are doing something about the problem.

If you look at a list of synonyms, which contains the word 'worry', this is what you get:

 tease, harry, hector, badger, disquiet. Worry, annoy, harass all mean to disturb or              interfere with someone's comfort or peace of mind.

...and there it is...
Worry disturbs our peace of mind, interferes with our comfort,  and precipitates endless nights of little to no sleep.  It eats away at us but it does not actually accomplish anything!

In part one of this series on worry I shared with you many ways in which God showed up and supplied for my many needs. One would think after just a few such miraculous shows of provision that I would just leave worry behind. But as I moved into the next stage of my life...young and married with kids ...I began to worry again. In fact I worried so much that I would take at least two to three hours each night as I lay my head on my pillow to quiet my anxious thoughts enough to finally nod off to sleep. This went on for years. It's a wonder I did not develop an ulcer as my mother had throughout her years of worrying over our family.

Then one day it happened... I don't remember the exact day or hour...I just realized that God was enough. He loved me, knew my needs, and promised in His word that if I put 'first things' first...to seek first the kingdom, then I wouldn't have to be overwhelmed by the pressures of life. So I made a decision to trust God and not worry and from that day forward I was able to lay my concerns at the feet of Jesus in my prayers and lay my head down at night...and simply sleep.

It's true...sounds  a bit Pollyannaish I know, but I can promise you that it is possible to stop losing sleep from worrying.

 I would love it if you could come back and read my next post. I've realized this worry issue is so universal that it can't just be handled in only two posts. I shared a very real and personal list at the beginning of this post. A list of things that I could let get between myself and my trust in God's provision...things that could begin again the endless nights of worry if I let them.   I would like to share with you how you can replace the word 'worry' with the word 'trust'...but that will have to wait for the next part in this series. ;-)

So how are you doing?  What thoughts run through your head in those wee hours of the night just before you drift off to sleep?

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

Worry...is it choking the life out of you?

My life verse is Matthew 6:33.  "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well."   I just keep coming back to this promise in scripture time and time again.

And just what are  "all these things"  this verse talks about?  To find that out we need to go back and read the verse in context of the chapter in which it is written. The chapter begins by telling us not to worry about our life, the simple necessities...food, clothing, and shelter. These are  real needs in our lives not just desires and wants. And yet, we are told simply...do not worry.  After all, look at the birds of the air and the lilies of the field...God takes care of them...how much more will he take care of you, His beloved child?!

When we learn to not worry over how God will provide for us and just trust that he will, it becomes so much easier to pursue living an obedient life that will glorify God.

So...don't worry!  Now...please believe that I do not say this lightly!  God has graciously shown me that I can rely on His promise that He cares about my needs.  I have seen it play out in my life time and time again.  I also know that this is a hard thing...this not worrying. Because, even though God has shown Himself good on His promises, there have been times, even seasons in my life, where I did not live out my belief on those promises. I have learned the hard way, not what worry can do for me, but what it can do to me.

 

Did you know that the word worry derives its meaning from an Anglo Saxon word which means...to choke?  I think that is such an accurate description of the word.  In fox hunting the word worry is used to mean "the action of the hounds in tearing to pieces the carcass of a fox". Worrying tears us apart and chokes the life out of us...the very life that we were worried about in the first place.  A bit ironic, don't you think?

Let me share some examples of how this verse has had such an impact on my life and how it has played out...

As a young college student, with a limited music/voice scholarship and no other financial resources, I needed to figure out how I was going to make up the rest of the money that I would need to attend college.  My parents in no way were able to help me out because of their own limited funds.  I did, under the advice of an older and supposedly wise person, apply for and receive a student loan. I attended Berry College for two years. I then transferred to a Christian College in Michigan...many miles away from my home state of Georgia.  I began to realize this was indeed God's will for my life  because after attending the Christian College for three years and graduating with a bachelors degree I found that the only money I owed for my education was from  Berry College.  Now I'm not saying I was not supposed to go to Berry...perhaps I was just to trust that God would provide....just as He did for my last three years of college. 

There were many times in those years I just trusted God for my needs (food and clothing) and He did provide.  Here is a small sampling of the many ways He provided:

• when a mysterious bag of food, and much needed toiletries appeared in my dorm room...I had not told anyone of my needs!
• a woman, whom I did not even know, heard me sing as I was traveling with one of the professors (he preached and I would provide the special music), wrote out a check to the college  and handed it to my professor instructing him to put it towards my school account.
• many times grants and scholarships were provided when I didn't even know where they came from
• a check for twenty dollars would arrive in the mail at the time I was in true need...this happened many times. 

One would think that after having experienced God's provision over and over through those  years that I would have learned what a faithful and trustworthy God we have, but no!  The next season of my life proved to be just as challenging. . 

I'm wondering...how are you on this journey with worry?  Is it tearing you to pieces, are you losing sleep?

I hope you stay with me as I continue to share this worry journey in my next post.  Those sleepless nights don't have to be a recurring event in your life!  

Click here to read Part two: Worry…Part Two

Linking up with... 

Strong Enough?

"God has not placed you where you are now in this journey because you are a 'strong enough’ woman.

NO, He has you here because in the journey 

you will become strong.

You have only to trust that

 His grace is sufficient." 

~ Gay Idle

Sometimes a simple thought speaks volumes. This particular thought (see above quote) came to me this morning. 

I am learning that sometimes the journey I am on  looks like the winter picture of my garden (or of my discontent)...

...but God already sees the outcome of His will for my life...the culmination of the path I am traversing, even perhaps, the reason for the journey.  Springtime is a beautiful reminder of this to me!

How are you doing on the journey? 

 Please...share in the comment section for this post. I would love to hear how God is making His Word and will made known to you through your own journey!

Open the Eyes of my heart, Lord ~my prayer in the midst of my writer's block...

So...it's been awhile since I have written a blog post.  Sorry for the neglect...well...actually it started with a major writer's block. One that I am afraid was begun in fear.

Fear of a writing project I have been asked to be a part of...nothing really huge, mind you, just a chapter in a book. We, I and several other women, are writing to encourage  Mom's who may be in the midst of raising a special needs child. I have some personal experience in this area. You see, my  son has a very rare migraine condition called Sporadic Hemiplegic Migraines (SHM).

  SHM is a condition that has caused my son, Brad, to suffer two traumatic brain events...a stroke at the age of thirteen (February 1999) and again at the age of twenty two (July 2007), his migraine led to non-stop seizures which put him in danger of permanent brain damage if they could not stop the seizures. So they basically put him into a medicinally induced coma. Brad was in the Neurocritical Care Unit of Johns Hopkins University Hospital for 16 days!

Both events, in '99 and '07, resulted in multiple hospital transfers, multiple days in ICU's/ Neurocritical Care Units, and inpatient rehabilitation hospitals. Those days were followed by  many months of physical, speech, and occupational  out- patient therapies. Immediately after each of these events Brad was unable to do anything...talk, walk, speak, read, write, simple math, recognition of coins, basic care skills, basic social skills, ALL had to be relearned.  I jokingly tell people that I have raised our one son three times.  In reality it's not a joke but a big part of the story of my son's life...and mine, as well as every member of our family. 

In many of my blog posts, to this point, I have shared life lessons that God has taught me from simple things...such as the antics of my puppy or the beauty of nature or just lessons from life in general.  But I haven't written about our experiences with our son, Brad, who, by the way, is doing quite well now...despite the fact that we are still working through some of his cognitive impairment from his last event. To be honest I know that God has much for me to share about what He has taught me through our son's ordeals. It is just so hard sometimes to put into words on a page. Somehow it goes deep to the core of my being and tears begin to flow. 

God IS so very good and has walked with us every step of the way.  I believe that He has now given me the direction that my writing should take...sharing the blessings through the trials.

 God has a plan and a purpose for my son's life...for my life.  The plans that formulated in my heart as a young, married, soon to be mother so many years ago have taken a dramatic turn.  I would have thought by now my son would have graduated from college, be established in the profession of his (and Gods) choice, and married with one or two children of his own.  His own dream since he was 9 years old was to be a Minister, married, and have children by the time he had reached his present age.   Many times I have prayed,  "LORD, why...why have you not given him his heart's desire...surely they line up with your will?!" Just when I think none of it makes any sense God gives me glimpses of His purpose, His glory on the mountain tops, He shows me light on this valley floor. And I am once again comforted and filled with the peace that passes understanding...HIS peace.

Am I saying that God actually chose to inflict my son with this awful condition? No. We live in a fallen world that displays the result of sin. Ever since the fall in the Garden of Eden, things have been going downhill. Everything has been affected by that choice made so long ago.  What I am saying is that God, for whatever reason, has allowed this to come to pass and He has and is going to bring about His glory and His good for Brad and our family. His word promises that " in all things God works for the good of those who love Him , who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. I trust that God is working this out.  My son loves the Lord and has been called! I just have to let go and let God work out His plan.  I have to follow His footprints, His path, for our lives.  

How does this letting go look in your own life?  You don't have to go through something so traumatic as what I have just shared in order to see the path God has for you! 

"Sometimes we have to let go of our dreams in order for His dreams to come to fruition. Are we so busy planning out how our lives should go, our dreams, our purpose, that we miss His purpose for our life? I submit that you won't be fulfilled until you relinquish those dreams to the God who created you for His purpose!" ~ Gay Idle ♥

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance." Ephesians 1:18

Run to Him...

My dog, Clair, loves to chew on things.  If she doesn't have enough toys she will start looking in my office trash can for empty water bottles.  The water bottles happen to be one of her favorite things to chew and I might add one of the most annoying because of the  crinkly noise the plastic makes as she mauls it...annoying to me and anyone else who happens to be in the same room when she is attacking a plastic water bottle...but I think the noise is, for her, a reward for a bottle well chewed! 

Every once in awhile Clair will find something, as do most young dogs not quite out of the puppy stage, that she should not be chewing on.  Usually, when she has something in her mouth, I will tell her to show it to me.  At that point she will hunch down over the object as she drops it between her two front paws, ready to snatch it up quickly in case I attempt to take it from her.  Interestingly enough she rarely runs at this point and I am able to retrieve whatever it is she has chosen to turn into a chew toy.  

This morning as I was sitting in my office reading, I noticed that I had not heard any noise from her in awhile so I decided to go find her and see what she was up to...you know the rule...if they are too quiet, they must be into something;  same rule that we think of with children.  I know...dogs are definitely not children but, strangely enough, there are times when I think Clair has striking similarities to a toddler.  Anyway, as I went to check it out I found her on my bed with something in her mouth.  I asked her to show me what she had and she did her usual quick drop between her paws, but then immediately grabbed it back up and ran with it in her mouth, as she leapt off the bed, out the door, and into the other room as fast as she could go.  

It was a Halls cough drop.  She must have loved what she had and decided that this time she was going to get what she wanted and the best way to do that was to leave my presence. 

Suddenly, a thought hit me!  Isn’t this what I do…what we all do...at times?  When we know we are coveting something we shouldn’t have…when we are craving after things that are not in God’s will for us...we run from God.  We get far away from His presence so that we can feel good about this new thing, or selfish choice, and not feel His displeasure. 

Jonah did this too.  Remember him, the guy who spent three days in the belly of a big fish because he chose to run from God instead of doing what He knew God wanted of Him? 

I remember doing an in depth study, an inductive study, on the book of Jonah and even though I had read that story many times before...new truths just jumped out at me.   Not only did Jonah run, but he ran in the opposite direction from where God had wanted him to go.  He was willfully disobeying God.   I had written in my notes, "I can't imagine running from God...but I guess not doing what He clearly tells me to do in His word is the same as running from God."  

When Jonah was still on the ship and trouble came, he knew the trouble had come to them because he was running away from God yet he didn't choose at that point to run back to God.  Instead, he chose to be thrown overboard.  At which time the great big fish swallowed him.  WOW! Talk about stubbornly going your own way!  

Now I would think at this point he would have immediately called out to God saying, "I will go and do whatever you say" ...but no, he stayed in the belly of that fish for three days, and three nights!!!  Yuck and gross!!  Can you imagine? Yet, how many times do we choose to wallow in our own self-pity because of the circumstances that our own selfish choices have brought about in our lives. How long before we repent and turn back to God? 

The most amazing thing about Jonah's story is that when he finally cried out to God...as he was entrenched in bile,  seaweed wrapped around his head, growing faint almost to the point of death...he looked  toward the LORD's Temple and acknowledged that salvation comes from the LORD...God heard him!  

God heard his prayers and rescued Jonah from the pit of despair!!  Not only did God hear him but He still allowed Jonah to be His instrument, His prophet. When Jonah ran from God's presence, he was willfully disobeying God; obedience moved him back into God's presence. 

Time and time again through the Bible, we see God's people turn away from Him as they choose to go their own way, leading them away from the presence of God; first in the Garden of Eden, then through the sacrifices, the Tabernacle, and the Temple.  

Finally,  God sends prophets to instruct and warn His people,  that even though the Temple will be destroyed,  there is  One who is coming ,who will set all things right...the Messiah.  One of the first names given to this Messiah was Emmanuel, God with us!!  Jesus came, God in the flesh, to dwell among us and to offer Himself as the only perfect and acceptable sacrifice for our sins.  His death, burial and resurrection give us  a hope and a future and provide  a way for us back into relationship with God, the Father.  

When he ascended to Heaven He didn't leave us to continue on in this harsh, sin ridden world alone.  We now have the Holy Spirit...His presence in our lives!  Time and time again, we see God establishing His presence among His people. 

His love never fails...even when we do!  

The book of Jonah and all of God's Word teaches us that compassion and grace and His active presence in our lives are not given based on  what we deserve, but they are based on our responsive steps in the right direction.  I am amazed and in awe of how loving and forgiving God is to us all!!

Aren't you glad that we have the stories of the lives of those who have gone before us written in the Word of God that show us how much God loves us and to what great lengths He will go to make sure we are in a right relationship with Him!!  

 So... as the saying goes, "if you don't feel close to God...guess who moved." 

 I, for one, want so very much to be moving in the right direction...in obedience towards my heavenly Father!! 

I am so thankful that He gives me these glimpses from time to time, these sacred echoes, as reminders of God's desire for me and my desire for God.  Sometimes the glimpses come from a deeper reading of His Word...and sometimes...well sometimes they come in the form of a chocolate brown lab, named Clair. 

Let's put this in perspective...

I have been on a Sabbatical for the whole month of July...well...technically I was supposed to be.  We took a week to go out of town and play and rest…See feet/selfie to the right.

The rest of the time has been a stay cation.  Now, as I understand a stay cation is supposed to be a vacation that you spend at home...relaxing, reading, maybe doing a few projects around the house…you get the picture.

 However, as a minister's wife in a relatively small (around 19,000) town, a stay cation doesn't quite work the way I had envisioned.  As it turns out;  everyone knows where you live, knows you are home and knows you are available if needed.   I will say that our church family was wonderful in honoring our sabbatical and other than a couple of emergencies, most left us to ourselves, to relax and restore.  I think my biggest problem was...well...ME!  Being home it was hard not to think in terms of what needed to be done...get those women signed up for the Women of Faith Conference, work on the nursery volunteer list and make sure the nursery was staffed during the month of July...and then there was my Tuesday morning Bible study group which I still led of course since I was in town, after all. And of course...there was the house.  It is incredibly hard to truly relax and read for hours when there is housework to be done!  Vacuuming and laundry and dishes...not that I actually got a lot of housework accomplished...just the guilt of knowing it needed to be done seemed to block my ability to enjoy myself.  I was, indeed,  my own worst enemy.

There is one thing that happened  to put so much of this in perspective...one incredibly sad and yet amazingly wonderful occurrence.  My friend, Joni, unexpectantly went home to be with the Lord.  Joni is the reason I even had a summer bible study to begin with.  Normally,  we just take a break for the summer with our women's bible study groups.  She really wanted to be in a study group because she felt she would learn more than if she just read the bible and studied on her own.  She was so hungry to learn more about God and His word that she didn't want to wait until we started back in the fall to begin.  How could I say no to that?  So I found the NIV Bible in 90 Days.  It sounded perfect...we would follow a reading plan to read through the entire bible in 90 days, while meeting weekly for discussion.

My beautiful friend, Joni...you are missed by so many!

Joni loved this study and her enthusiasm for the Word was contagious to the whole group!  She had shared with us that for years she went to church and did volunteer work and church work and thought that was what made her a Christian.  In her pursuit of God, she had also tried so many things that were not at all what someone would think of as "Christian", even being a wiccan for a time. Joni's approach to this search for God, as her approach to life, was one of over the top, infectious enthusiasm.  However, she shared that only in the past year or so had she really been a Christian...that she discovered the work was already done...not anything she did, but what Christ had done in dying on the cross to take her sins away, and to restore her relationship to God.  Since then she has been hungry to know Him more, to grow in her relationship with Him. She finally knew that being a christian was about relationship and not religion.  Now she didn't want to waste any more time!!  She hated missing even one week of Bible study...and then the unexpected happened.

It didn't make much sense;  I mean she was on dialysis. She  had recently gotten home from the hospital from an infection and then went in for one more day of dialysis, which seemed to tire her more than usual.  She went home, went to bed and never woke up.  Wow! How can you explain that?  Finally she has found her path to God...she is on a good path in her journey.  Her family is all the world to her, besides her new found relationship with Christ and she loves her church...even her health problems appeared to be manageable. So why would this happen?

 I'm not sure we will ever truly know this side of heaven. I like to think that Joni's desire to know the Lord was so strong that He just took her on home rather than have her endure the pain and trials she had yet to suffer in her time with her illness on this earth. But, really...I just don't know.  One thing I do know..Joni is now walking...no...dancing with the Lord!!  No more canes, no more dialysis, no more tears!  All her questions can now be answered by the King of kings and Lord of lords!!  She is now among the great cloud of witnesses waiting for her friends and loved ones to join her in due time. Let's not disappoint her!!!
                                                                           

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