When God Whispers...That Still Small Voice

It happened in the early days of our church plant at Journey. One evening the hubs and I were driving from Reno back to our new home in Fernley when we passed by a canyon. Sitting far back into the mountain-side was a building of sorts, with bright flashing red lights. I mean BRIGHT, and FLASHING! What in the world was that? I asked the hubs and he said that he had heard it was a  brothel!

And then I felt it. That heavy burden pressing in on my heart...it was palpable. My heart cried out for the women at that place...women who used their bodies for financial gain.  I wanted to weep for these women and hated the lies of the enemy that had led them to that place.  I knew this was the voice of God speaking to me...But what could I do?

God said pray...

So I began to pray for those women, knowing nothing about them really. Who they were...why they were there...if they even wanted to be there.
As I prayed, I asked God...Lord why? Why have you placed this burden on my heart?  What in the world could I do? Brothels are legal in Nevada...doesn't that mean these women are choosing this lifestyle? Are they living this lifestyle in response to a painful past, one even more painful than the life they are presently living out?   ...and on and on I prayed.

As we began to get settled into our new life in Nevada and our new ministry God began opening doors...slowly...oh so slowly.  Several things began to happen...

I met the Director of the Local Crisis Pregnancy Center. Journey had decided to take this on as a local mission and thus began a sweet friendship.  I even began training at the Crisis Pregnancy Center, thinking maybe God would use me there as a counselor. This invaluable training has deepened my burden for those women who find themselves in hard places. It has given me the ability to see these women as God sees them. Beautiful, loved and adored by their creator...yet marred by the enemies deceit and lies. His heart breaks over their brokenness. Oh to have a heart that breaks over the very things that break the heart of God!

I got connected to the Director of Awaken INC...a group in Reno that fights human sex trafficking right there in the streets of  Reno. I have heard first hand some of the atrocities that go on in our own 'backyard'.  Please believe me when I say that human trafficking is not just something that goes on in other countries far away. It is happening in our neighborhoods, to our children, across the nation.  God has opened my eyes to the heartache and pain, the brokenness that surrounds me. I continue to pray.

My next connection was with a woman I met through the Open Doors Women's Conference, a one day conference held by one of our local churches every year for all women in the community. Journey, our church, hosts this event in our building. It was there that I met a woman who is involved in a ministry that goes into the brothels just outside Carson City to minister to the girls who work there.  So we began to talk about how I could learn more about their ministry and how it worked
...and I continued to pray.

In the midst of all of the previous 'for such a time as this' encounters, our family moved to a new neighborhood...just across town. I love to walk and I began walking again as soon as we settled in, mapping out a two-mile route that I would soon follow day after day. The hubs came home one day from golf and said one of his golfing buddies told him that someone connected to the brothel, the madam, lived right there in our neighborhood.  I had been walking by her house every day!  As I became aware of the exact location I used this as the prompt to pray for her and the girls at the brothel as I walked past her house. I still do...although my walking routine has become rather sporadic.
 But still...I pray.

One gloriously beautiful day (we have a lot of those here in Northern Nevada), I went out for my usual two-mile walk. As I passed by 'the house' I distinctly heard a still small voice. "Go knock on the door." To which I said,  "What???!!!  Are you kidding me, God?  What the heck am I going to say if she opens the door? Hey...I know who you are?  I mean...really?  I can't even think of anything going on that I could invite her too. She would say no, anyway."  And on and on and on I went. I stood right there on the sidewalk for a solid ten minutes arguing with God. Telling Him all the reasons this was just...well... a bad idea!

But in the end...I went and knocked on the door.  I waited. I knocked again. I rang the doorbell. I waited.  Ok, Lord...you told me to knock. She has to be here!  So I knocked harder.  It was dark inside from what I could see. It appeared no one was home. Still, I knocked and I waited some more. Surely God would not tell me to knock if she was not there. What sense did that make? But no one answered the door. So finally, feeling a bit dejected...and relieved, I walked back out to the sidewalk.  As I stood on the sidewalk I looked heavenward and said, 'Why??? Why in the world did you tell me to go and knock on her door?  You knew she wasn't there..so why???

Immediately I heard His answer, "Obedience".

Okay, Lord...I hear you.

You see, if I am to be given the honor of walking out this ministry to these women, I first have to learn to step out in obedience to His voice. Even when it makes no sense to me at all! I need to be ready to go when He says, "go"; to do what He tells me to do; to walk in obedience to His word in every area of my life. So that when He is ready to open more doors in answer to walking the next step of this journey, I will be ready and willing to go through the door.  I suspect some of those doors are going to be hard to step through. They may take me way out of my comfort zone. But I believe I am willing and where I am weak and 'unable'...He will enable me.

 I believe He will bring others along-side me to continue on in whatever this ministry will look like. I'm still waiting and praying. I could run ahead and start things...but I know I cannot do this in my own strength...so I pray and I wait to hear His voice.

 I believe the primary way He speaks to us is through His Word.  In order to hear His voice clearly, we need to be grounded in His Word.(Click to tweet).  It certainly makes it easier to discern His voice over and against the cacophony of voices that surround us every day.  He may speak to us through a particular verse in scripture, a sermon, a friends advice, or a song we hear on the radio.  God's voice echoes through many different avenues the message He intends for us to hear.  However, it is so very important to be able to discern when those 'outside' voices conflict with God's Word...even the well-meaning ones. For it is then, when there is a direct conflict with the Word, we know that it is not God speaking.

And so...I sit before Him each morning, with coffee, reading glasses, and Bible in hand.  I wait expectantly because I know that He has a plan. I walk and pray...and listen for His voice. I know that in listening to His voice I will find the purpose He has for me...and in finding that purpose I know I will find my voice.(Click to tweet)

How about you? Are you listening for His voice?

Whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you. saying, "This is the way; walk in it."   ~Isaiah 30:21

I am linking up with Jo Ann and the other beautiful women to talk about listening for the voice of God...hearing His voice and in that, finding our own voice...sharing our stories. Not to rehash the past...or commiserate over our wounded-ness but with freedom and joy and purpose to share our hearts and allow God to use us...our voices...to make a difference, to help women find hope and healing.

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Tears...Breaking the Dam of Hardened Hearts

Broken...

 She reached down into the depths of her heart stirring up the tears that had lain dormant far too long. As the hardness began to break in to pieces, the tears ran in streams down her cheeks. The floodgates burst open, releasing the pain and hurt of the deception she had been carrying. 

The very thing that had caused the hardening of her heart, the wall of her emotions to hold fast, was now gone. Washed away...flowing away with the turbulent river of tears of a repentant heart.   

            Broken.

                                                At last, she was free!

The previous paragraphs? An excerpt from a book that is yet to be written.  I won't expound on the story at this time because it is really just a seed that God planted in my heart...it will take much prayer, research, and the hard work of getting it on the page before it will come to fruition. It sort of just burst forth from my fingertips after contemplating something I had read in my devotional time one morning last week. It was most definitely one of those God whispering moments...and my heart...and fingers responded.  

What I had read was from Elmer Towns book, How To Pray: When You Don't Know What to Say. If you are looking for a good book on how to pray or just ways to refresh and reinvigorate your prayer life I highly recommend this book.  However, since this post is not a 'book review', I will leave it for you to check it out and discover the treasures therein. 

As I read the chapter in Towns' book on repentance and deliverance, I was reminded of the importance of tears in our prayer life...more specifically, my prayer life. Towns writes: "to be an effective intercessor, we must have a 'weeping heart' before God. If our eyes are always dry, it means that our soul is also probably dry. And a dry heart eventually becomes a hardened heart." He goes on to tell us that tears and brokenness is the avenue to a softened heart before God. Tears and brokenness can push aside the pride long enough to expose our hearts for what they have become, hard and dry. Those very tears are a good sign that we are broken and ready to deal with our sin. We are ready to repent. 

This has me asking myself...how soft is my heart before God? How many times have I cried over the sins I, myself, have committed. How many times have I wept over the very things that break the heart of God?  And surely our personal sins, among many other things, break His heart. 

How many times have I cried for other's, whose hearts are hardened by the harsh realities of the sin-soaked society in which we live...cried for those who have chosen to walk in defiance to the plan God has for their life. Do I cry over those who cannot even see that they are spiritually sick and have the cure to their sickness within their grasp, yet fail to latch on? Like a man in a swiftly swirling whirlpool getting weaker and weaker as he fights against the current, yet he refuses the lifeline that has been thrown to him.  

I pray that God will soften my heart so that I may weep for those who don't even realize there is a reason to weep.  To weep for those who are living broken lives and don't know how to fix what is broken.  May the tears break down the wall of pride in my own heart so that I can see ever clearer the sins that are present in my life, so that I may repent and walk in obedience to the Word of God. I pray that the Lord will soften my own heart so that He can use me to reach out to others with open arms and open heart. May they see the love of Christ in my words, in my actions, and within my heart.

Lord help us to weep tears of repentance...to accept your forgiveness...so that times of refreshing may come.

I could use a bit of refreshing...

                                                 How about you?

*This post conains an affiliate link.
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"Worry...is it choking the life out of you?" Part Two...Sleepless nights no more.

Do you spend nights on end...sleepless nights…worrying?  I think that most of us at one point or another experience the burden of seemingly unending anxiety, apprehension, worry, and sleepless nights.

We tend to lose sleep over things such as the following:

• Our finances...not enough money at the end of the paycheck. "...okay, all the bills are paid but now there is no money for groceries! What are we going to eat?"
• Our health...my husband's blood pressure; my son's disability and trying to prevent another migraine because, for him, any migraine could lead to another stroke or worse; my daughter's pregnancy and constant nausea now with gall bladder troubles thrown into the mix; my own neck and back woes.
• Family troubles...our children's future; extended family woes such as aging and health concerns, and more.
• Job...will I ever be able to bring in any income with my writing; will the next paycheck come on time; God has moved us many times through the years...how long will we be in our present ministry?
• ___________Fill in the blank...ad nauseum...we could just about make any issue we face in life an issue to worry over couldn't we?

Why do we worry so?  I blame the FALL...you know...back in the Garden of Eden where Adam and Eve took that first bite off the forbidden fruit.  I basically blame all of our woes, all of mankind's woes on the Fall.  That's where mankind tried to put self before God.  Where he didn't just take God at His word but thought he knew better and took things into his own hands.   We continue to do that today don't we?  We think by worrying that we can add something to our lives.  We think that if we worry  we are doing something about the problem.

If you look at a list of synonyms, which contains the word 'worry', this is what you get:

 tease, harry, hector, badger, disquiet. Worry, annoy, harass all mean to disturb or              interfere with someone's comfort or peace of mind.

...and there it is...
Worry disturbs our peace of mind, interferes with our comfort,  and precipitates endless nights of little to no sleep.  It eats away at us but it does not actually accomplish anything!

In part one of this series on worry I shared with you many ways in which God showed up and supplied for my many needs. One would think after just a few such miraculous shows of provision that I would just leave worry behind. But as I moved into the next stage of my life...young and married with kids ...I began to worry again. In fact I worried so much that I would take at least two to three hours each night as I lay my head on my pillow to quiet my anxious thoughts enough to finally nod off to sleep. This went on for years. It's a wonder I did not develop an ulcer as my mother had throughout her years of worrying over our family.

Then one day it happened... I don't remember the exact day or hour...I just realized that God was enough. He loved me, knew my needs, and promised in His word that if I put 'first things' first...to seek first the kingdom, then I wouldn't have to be overwhelmed by the pressures of life. So I made a decision to trust God and not worry and from that day forward I was able to lay my concerns at the feet of Jesus in my prayers and lay my head down at night...and simply sleep.

It's true...sounds  a bit Pollyannaish I know, but I can promise you that it is possible to stop losing sleep from worrying.

 I would love it if you could come back and read my next post. I've realized this worry issue is so universal that it can't just be handled in only two posts. I shared a very real and personal list at the beginning of this post. A list of things that I could let get between myself and my trust in God's provision...things that could begin again the endless nights of worry if I let them.   I would like to share with you how you can replace the word 'worry' with the word 'trust'...but that will have to wait for the next part in this series. ;-)

So how are you doing?  What thoughts run through your head in those wee hours of the night just before you drift off to sleep?

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

Today is National Day of Prayer!!!

Were you aware that today is National Day of Prayer ?!  In honor of this day I wanted to share  this Focus on the Family broadcast.

Prayer is so important for all of us!  It needs to be not just another spiritual discipline but a defining part of our relationship with God!

So...get a cup of coffee... sit back in a comfy seat...click on the link below and enjoy!!

 (Update: the original link I had submitted for this post had expired so I found one that works).

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/media/focus-on-the-family-minute/hanging-onto-god-through-prayer

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight. ~Philippians 1:9
 

Savor The Taste ...A lesson from fresh ground coffee

            I love coffee!!  A lot of people say they love coffee, but really, it's just the caffeine they are addicted to. Not so with me.  I really love the taste of pure, unadulterated coffee. No cream. No sugar. And definitely no "flavors"! I want nothing to get between these taste buds and that wonderful taste and aroma of black coffee.

In fact, once I savor my one-to-three cups of "fully leaded" coffee, I then switch to a good brand of caffeine-free just to continue enjoying the deliciousness of the coffee flavor.

Coffee is a very important part of getting my mornings off to a good start. So, pouring a hot, steaming cup of coffee is the first thing I do …that is, unless the Hubs leaves the house before letting the dogs out and getting them through their morning routine. In that case, of course, I have to take care of their needs first.  Once done...I pick out one of my favorite mugs and pour that first cup, just basking in the delicious aroma as I carry it up the stairs to my office ...to my big comfy chair, where I curl up with my coffee, reading glasses, and my Bible.

Now, at this point, I would love to say that nothing comes between me and the "pure unadulterated" quiet time I have with the Lord, with His word, and in prayer and meditation ...and some mornings that is absolutely true. However, my office can be a whirlwind of distraction with unfinished projects, to-do lists, books, books, and more books; just waiting to be tackled, checked off, and devoured (I am a voracious reader).  Not to mention the noise and flurry of whatever new "adventure" my puppy, Clair, is getting into.

So ...some mornings the distractions lead me away from my intended goal of spending time in the Word, listening for His voice, and praying to have "ears to hear and eyes to see" what the Lord has for me.  Instead, my ears and eyes are being bombarded with Clair bringing me some new “toy” she has just discovered from the bathroom trash can—and now the utterance, “Dear Lord,” is not exactly the beginning of a heartfelt prayer!

So I contemplate this morning...I absolutely love my morning quiet time, and I really do hate when I let distractions interrupt that time ...  but do I crave those times as I crave that first cup of coffee? 

Do I "wait in expectation" as David says in Psalm 5:3, to hear God's voice in answer to my prayers?  I don't want anything to dilute the pure taste of my coffee. Am I allowing the silly distractions of my mornings to dilute my time in the Word, in quiet contemplation…listening for His voice?

As I have stated before, I named this blog "Captive Heart" because that truly is my greatest desire ...to have a heart that is captivated by the grace and love of my Lord and Savior ...a heart that is not distracted by the busyness and noise of this world.

I want to savor all that God has for me ...to have eyes to see and ears to hear what He has in store for me this day and every day!   I want to be used by God in whatever way He chooses to bring love and healing to those He puts in my path. I want to hunger after His Word.  I want to say with the psalmist, "How sweet are your words to my taste".

So, with coffee in hand, I will continue to my office each morning with expectation.

How about you ...how do you begin your day?

For me ...to savor the pure undiluted/unadulterated time with my Lord ...ahhhh. ...now that hits the spot!! 

In the morning Lord, you hear my voice; 

in the morning I lay my requests before you 

and wait expectantly.  ~Psalm 5:3