Let It Go: When Dreams Are Derailed

Every young mother has dreams for her children. 

As we hold that newborn babe in our arms, we begin to see the potential in this tiny human being…one made in the image and likeness of our Creator God. We wonder if that baby girl will grow up to be a carbon copy of her mommy or will she accomplish so much more than her mama had ever dreamed? We see our sons and are in awe that this little man will grow up to be a man perhaps like his father, even having a wife and children of his own someday. We have visions of tea parties, t-ball, and prom dates. But more than anything, I believe we mothers just want our babies to grow into happy, healthy adults.

I was that young mother so many years ago...

To continue reading this article, head over to this link: Pretty & Wise: Let It Go       _____________________________________________________ 

Before you head over, I want to share a few things about this new website!

I have the joy and privilege to be one of the six contributors to this brand new website and today is launch day! 

Pretty & Wise was founded by my daughter, Lyndsay Terry, and is based on this verse: 

How wonderful it is to be wise, to analyze and interpret things. Wisdom lights up the person's face, softening its harshness.               Ecclesiastes 8:1  

And so she has brought us together to connect with you. We are a collective of women...speakers, writers, mothers, pastors, friends, ministry leaders...who are passionately pursuing relationship with Jesus Christ. We've been changed by Him, and continue to seek to go deeper with Him. Because of that, our mission is to...

dig through scripture, share our testimonies, and gain some wisdom from the word together so that we can live the Word bravely and boldly as women of God.

In order to create a platform that nurtures community among the readers/visitors, Pretty & Wise has a unique feature that I absolutely love: 

The Community Page. 

Here's how it works:

Go over to Community page and sign up, create your account and put your face on there so we know who we're taking to and then go join in on the conversations. 

After reading an article on the blog you can click on the link to go over to the community page related to that article. The author of the article posts a related scripture and questions to spur on a conversation from the readers in the Pretty & Wise community.  

Anyone who comes directly to the community page can join in on any of these conversations. I love this! We are able to respond to the questions, respond to people's questions/replies, and just join in on the conversation...encouraging one another. This is what brings us together in a community of sisterhood.

We need these kinds of conversations in order to know that we are not alone. That moment when we read someone else's reply and think, "Yes! Me Too!" That is the moment that connects us! Connection is so important for true community to happen. 

There is so much more over at Pretty & Wise to encourage you. I hope that you will join us for some laughs, some tears, and some serious sisterhood.

...and let us run the race with endurance that God has set before us.  Hebrews 12:1b

The women at Pretty & Wise want to cheer you on to keep running that race with everything you've got, girl!

I will continue to write here at Captive Heart. Come back soon!

Don't forget to head over and read my article here: Pretty & Wise: Let It Go

OH...and if you have not already done so, head over to the facebook page and enter to win the launch day giveaway!

Story…Redeemable, #2

Back in April, 2014 the (in)Real Life conference was based on telling your Story.  I was blessed to attend this video conference with a group of women who were meeting together at a book launch retreat in Tennessee. This retreat was a gathering of women who had all been on Jo Ann Fore's book launch team for her book, When A Woman Finds Her Voice. It was a perfect combination, a gathering of women who were excited about the message of Jo Ann's book,  and the conference about telling your story!

We listened to speakers talk about Story and we talked about telling our own stories over the weekend, but there was one point in the weekend for me that seemed to be a living illustration of the importance of story. That point in time occurred in an outing we took to a store called Redeemables Upscale Resale. 



Redeemables is a wonderful store filled with all kinds of treasures. The two energetic and fun ladies who run the store, Debbie and Sherry, take pleasure in taking unwanted items and restoring and/or repurposing them…"redeeming" them into beautiful treasures. 



 Their motto: "Everyone is redeemable and most everything is redeemable!"

When we entered the store they had us gather around them as they shared their own story of how their friendship became this wonderful partnership. They lived out their motto not only in the fulfilling of this longtime dream of owning and running this store, but of the ministry of redeeming lives through their involvement with Rise Up , a youth development and mentoring program that  Sherry and her husband had begun around 20 years ago. Sherry and Debbie met while working in that ministry. 

This store represents not only redeemed objects but redeemed lives as they also employ and train young women who were students from the Rise Up program. As these girls work in the shop they see, touch, and experience a very visual illustration of the patience and work it can take to 'redeem' an item…to take something broken and restore it to something that is even more original and creative than before it was discarded. They also experience the love and grace that it takes to redeem a life. 

I loved this store and these women for being that living illustration of how our own stories can reveal and illustrate the redemptive work of our savior, Jesus Christ. 

If we allow Him into our lives, He takes those broken places…
 those things in our lives that we look on with shame,
 those things that make us feel like a failure, 
 those things that make us feel we can never be important or useful again,
 those things that we think are damaged beyond repair…
He takes all of that and weaves into us something gloriously beautiful, forgiven, redeemed, loved and valued! 

Do you have a story? Of course you do! If you have lived for long in this broken, fallen world you have a story!  

But what is the point of sharing our story if we are still walking in our broken state?  The enemy of your souls wants to destroy each and every one of us. He spends his time wreaking havoc in our lives…tempting us to do the very things that will wreck our souls and break our spirits. But we don't have to allow him the victory over our lives!!


We have only to accept the work that Jesus did on the cross…that act of redemption in 'buying back' our very heart, soul, and spirit…covering the sin in our lives with His life's blood so that we could be forgiven and restored not to religion, but to a very real and intimate relationship with God and to a life of real and lasting joy. We have only to surrender ourselves into His hands, and trust that the process, this healing journey that He is taking us through, is for our own good and His glory. 

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  ~Romans 8:28

I hope that you understand what that relationship has the power to do in your life.  I want to talk a little about that in my next one or two posts. How His story intersects with our story, and how that makes it worth the telling…why it makes the telling a necessity. 

(Be sure to read the next article in this series: Story: The Conflict #3.  If you didn't catch part one of this series, you can read it here: Story…The Great Connector.)

You...your story? Redeemable! Are you walking in the redemption or are you holding back?

Purpose for the Pain and Peace amidst the Why's

Sometimes a stronger, more realistic faith is birthed in the darkest of pits.                      ~Jo Ann Fore, When A Woman Finds Her Voice

I am no stranger to the reality of these words. I have experienced many hard things on this journey we call life. Most have. Or will...given enough years. Yes. It is a given. Suffering and pain happen in the world, at one time or another, to each of us.

   We live in a fallen world...and we are still suffering the effects of sin entering the world way back when Eve listened to the words of the enemy. He convinced her that what God had forbidden was actually good for her. And so...she took a bite of that fruit. At that moment, the moment of action, conceived from her doubt in God's all-consuming love and all-knowing wisdom, sin entered the world. The effects of that sin have continued on and will continue until Christ's return.

Still, while I can intellectually state the reality of why there is so much pain and suffering in this world, my heart still cries out in the hardest moments. Those times when I feel like I am wallowing in the depths of my latest 'pit' of despair..."Why Lord?"

• Why is my son still suffering from the effects of his two 'strokes'? Why can he not live out his heart's desire to be married, be in full-time ministry, and have children by now? Surely these are godly desires!
• Why are there times of frustration and misery in ministry? Shouldn't this be a joy?  
• Why does my daughter suffer with the effects of her PCOS?
• Why do people we love suffer with cancer?
• Why do You, Lord,  sometimes choose to heal and other times not?

I get that there are direct effects from our own personal sin. I even get that you allow us to live out the consequences of those sins, even as you forgive. Your forgiveness, Lord,  is there...waiting for us to bring our wrecked lives before your throne of mercy.  But what about those times when we are suffering not due to our own sins but as a result of the sins of others, or just due to the fallen state of this world?

And then I remember...

When those times come to me now, I raise my Ebenezer!

In 1 Samuel 7, we read how Samuel is leading the Israelites as they are making an effort to turn back to God with all of their hearts. In the midst of this gathering of repentance before the Lord, the Philistines rose up against the Israelites to attack them. In hearing of this uprising the people pleaded with Samuel to keep crying out to the Lord on their behalf so that the Lord would hear and deliver them from the hand of the Philistines.  Samuel offered a sacrifice to God and continued praying.  God caused panic among the Philistines and they fell into confusion...thus giving the Israelites victory over their enemies.  Samuel then set up a stone, as was the habit of God's people, as a remembrance of God's help in their time of need.  He called the stone, Ebenezer, meaning stone of help.

So you see, I too raise my Ebenezer. My stone of help. In those times when I feel I am drowning in the why's of life, in the midst of a  new dose of suffering or pain it 'helps' me to remember those times. God carried me when I no longer had the strength to keep going. When the pain was too much to bear...He was there taking that pain on Himself, so that I could not only survive but come out on the other side a much stronger woman.

Sometimes, in His great love and mercy, God has given me a glimpse into some of the why's. Times such as this:

Sitting in the waiting room of the outpatient rehab hospital, I cried out to God, "Why Lord, why are you allowing my son to struggle once again. Why, Lord, would you allow Brad to be assigned to a therapist with an accent that isn't even close to his native language? How in the world is he ever going to learn the proper pronunciation of the English language, with this guy? Why does Brad even have to go through all of this again? Why do we all have to go through this again? Lord, you can heal him...please...why don't you heal him?"

 In the midst of my crying out to God, the therapist, the very one I was just complaining to God about, stepped into the hallway and asked me to join them in the therapy room. He had a few questions he wanted to ask.  You see, in the process of the therapy sessions, Brad had insisted that the therapist help him work on writing a sermon that he was working on in his own time.  Since writing is a part of speech therapy, the therapist had agreed to help Brad work on his sermon. I think at this point he was willing to do anything that would get my son to cooperate in the therapy sessions.  In the sermon, Brad was trying to go through the entire Bible beginning with creation, working through Moses and the exodus(including every one of the plagues and the parting of the Red Sea), basically hitting every single miracle in the Bible all the way up to the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ. I was to learn that in the process of this, Brad had basically forced  his speech therapist to look at God's Word. Not only that, but this young man was Muslim and was beginning to question his own religion.  He wanted to know what kind of church we went to and what we taught. He said that his wife actually attended a Baptist church, but that he had never considered going to church with her or looking into her faith. He had been content with his own system of belief.  However, now...after going through the sermon with Brad over the past month or so, he was thinking of visiting his wife's church...he was ready to look into Christianity!  

You see...while I was out in the waiting room, crying out to God...well...more like complaining, my son was in there introducing his Muslim therapist to the One True God...the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 

"Okay God, I get it! That young man's eternal destination, his eternal salvation, is far more important than the instant healing of my son."

Sometimes God gives us those moments of clarity in the 'whys' so that we learn to trust in His wisdom, His timing, and His mercy. I have experienced enough of those moments to know that He is faithful and can be trusted with the why's.  As I begin to release the 'right' to always know why God works as He does, or even why God allows things to happen, peace sets into the depths of my soul. He becomes my hope, and my anchor in the storms of life.

There is a powerful shifting that takes place as we abandon the right to understand and we yield to God's working in our lives. ~Jo Ann Fore 

The words written in Romans 8:28 have become a working reality in my life…

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. 

Let Him give you hope and healing, love and laughter! Let Him walk with you and weep with you and then dry your tears. Allow Him to walk with you through your pain so that you can come through...healed and whole. Then use what He has done in your life to reach out to others who are still walking in their pain. Bring glory to the Lord for all He has done in and through you.

 Let there be purpose from your trials, your sufferings, your pain...and find peace amidst the why's!(tweet this)

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of  many lives.  ~Genesis 50:20 

Today am linking up with Jo Ann and other beautiful women, with freedom and joy and purpose to share our hearts and allow God to use us...our voices...to make a difference, to help women find hope and healing.  

Write! That's All He Said...Five Minute Friday

Oh how I have missed my Five Minute Friday's. I've been traveling and busy working on two different book launch teams and have neglected this activity that has become a discipline...the catalyst to get my fingers to the keyboard and spill words out onto the page from the depths of my heart. All based on one word...just one word from Lisa-Jo and hundreds of bloggers all over the country and beyond get their creative thinking caps on and type for five minutes(or longer...as is usually the case with me), whatever comes to mind based on that one word.

I've been so overwhelmingly busy with...well...LIFE, that I thought I might not do another FMF post until late October or maybe even November. Then I happened onto Lisa-Jo's post for today, and the word prompt was WRITE.  This word has a very special meaning to me so I could not ignore it this week and WRITE I must!

So here goes...
 Write

Go...

As I have shared in a previous post, God gave me a word in 2008. Yes...I heard one, single, solitary word. Over and over and over...in as close to being a real hear-it-out-loud voice as I have ever heard. I knew that this was God's voice telling me to write. I just had no idea what it was He wanted me to write. Here is the entry in my journal around the time I was hearing this from God...

February 3, 2008
Write. Write…Write! This one word has been playing over and over to me for weeks now, maybe even months. Almost audibly. I hear the word. I believe god is telling me to write. I have shared this with Rod, Lyndsay, and my ladies bible study. Now I feel accountable, but I still don't know WHAT I am supposed to write. 

 And here is a little of what was going on in my mind at this time…

Ok God...I get it! I'm supposed to write, but could you clue me in on exactly what I'm supposed to write about.? Oh yeah...and I'm not exactly a writer ...sooooo, I'm gonna need a little help here. I'm scared. What if I write the wrong thing or worse yet, what if it stinks?  What if I write something and nobody reads it? Or they read it and hate it?  Is this supposed to be a book or a project?  My testimony? I'm not ready to share all of my life with the world.  Our son Brad had just experienced his second traumatic brain incident and we were in the process of going with him through all of the speech, occupational and physical therapies. Was I supposed to write about that?  It was all still too real and raw to share with the world at large. No...not that...not yet.  

So...I began to journal, somewhat sporadically. I figured if God wanted me to write I needed to walk in obedience to His voice and write...something...anything, until He gave me something a little more concrete with which to work. Then in October of that year I began this blog. It was a very slow process as I had no idea what I was doing. I am a sporadic blogger...not good in the blogging world.  You don't build a better blog unless you actually...blog. 

God has brought me a long way from that day in February of 2008. Sometimes God gives us a 'word' or a vision but it might be years before it is ready to be set into place...to see it come to fruition.(Click to tweet)  Look how long it took Joseph to step into his calling! You can read about all he had to go through to be ready to be the instrument God used to save his nation and the lives of his own brothers who had left him for dead so many years before (1 Samuel 17:51). 

God uses all those things in our lives...the good, the bad and the ugly to work out His good and perfect will in our lives when we are walking in the path He has set before us. Even when we have no idea where that path might lead or even what it will look like.  When He says go...go. When He says do...do! When He says WRITE...I'm going to write!

Since hearing that word from God...WRITE...I have had the privilege of being a contributing writer in two books. The first one you can find on my sidebar...Bloom Where You're Planted by Anne Milam. The second book's working title is, God Must Think I'm Superwoman: The High Calling of Parenting Your Child with Special Needs, Westbow Publishing. That book is at the editor's as I write this...and the chapter that I wrote for that book is what I believe God called me to write so many years ago.  I believe that, because the enemy has been working hard to deter the process of it's publishing. 

 I continue to write because I believe God has called me to this thing. I will probably never be  a well known writer but I'm okay with that because I believe God will use the words that He has given me to further the work of His kingdom here on earth. I believe He has and will continue to use me to encourage, enlighten and engage my readers in seeing every part of the culture and world in which we live through the lens and filter of God's Word. And that is enough for me! 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. 

                                                                                       Romans 8:28

Now it's your turn...

1. Write for 5 minutes flat - no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. 

Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community...

Open the Eyes of my heart, Lord ~my prayer in the midst of my writer's block...

So...it's been awhile since I have written a blog post.  Sorry for the neglect...well...actually it started with a major writer's block. One that I am afraid was begun in fear.

Fear of a writing project I have been asked to be a part of...nothing really huge, mind you, just a chapter in a book. We, I and several other women, are writing to encourage  Mom's who may be in the midst of raising a special needs child. I have some personal experience in this area. You see, my  son has a very rare migraine condition called Sporadic Hemiplegic Migraines (SHM).

  SHM is a condition that has caused my son, Brad, to suffer two traumatic brain events...a stroke at the age of thirteen (February 1999) and again at the age of twenty two (July 2007), his migraine led to non-stop seizures which put him in danger of permanent brain damage if they could not stop the seizures. So they basically put him into a medicinally induced coma. Brad was in the Neurocritical Care Unit of Johns Hopkins University Hospital for 16 days!

Both events, in '99 and '07, resulted in multiple hospital transfers, multiple days in ICU's/ Neurocritical Care Units, and inpatient rehabilitation hospitals. Those days were followed by  many months of physical, speech, and occupational  out- patient therapies. Immediately after each of these events Brad was unable to do anything...talk, walk, speak, read, write, simple math, recognition of coins, basic care skills, basic social skills, ALL had to be relearned.  I jokingly tell people that I have raised our one son three times.  In reality it's not a joke but a big part of the story of my son's life...and mine, as well as every member of our family. 

In many of my blog posts, to this point, I have shared life lessons that God has taught me from simple things...such as the antics of my puppy or the beauty of nature or just lessons from life in general.  But I haven't written about our experiences with our son, Brad, who, by the way, is doing quite well now...despite the fact that we are still working through some of his cognitive impairment from his last event. To be honest I know that God has much for me to share about what He has taught me through our son's ordeals. It is just so hard sometimes to put into words on a page. Somehow it goes deep to the core of my being and tears begin to flow. 

God IS so very good and has walked with us every step of the way.  I believe that He has now given me the direction that my writing should take...sharing the blessings through the trials.

 God has a plan and a purpose for my son's life...for my life.  The plans that formulated in my heart as a young, married, soon to be mother so many years ago have taken a dramatic turn.  I would have thought by now my son would have graduated from college, be established in the profession of his (and Gods) choice, and married with one or two children of his own.  His own dream since he was 9 years old was to be a Minister, married, and have children by the time he had reached his present age.   Many times I have prayed,  "LORD, why...why have you not given him his heart's desire...surely they line up with your will?!" Just when I think none of it makes any sense God gives me glimpses of His purpose, His glory on the mountain tops, He shows me light on this valley floor. And I am once again comforted and filled with the peace that passes understanding...HIS peace.

Am I saying that God actually chose to inflict my son with this awful condition? No. We live in a fallen world that displays the result of sin. Ever since the fall in the Garden of Eden, things have been going downhill. Everything has been affected by that choice made so long ago.  What I am saying is that God, for whatever reason, has allowed this to come to pass and He has and is going to bring about His glory and His good for Brad and our family. His word promises that " in all things God works for the good of those who love Him , who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. I trust that God is working this out.  My son loves the Lord and has been called! I just have to let go and let God work out His plan.  I have to follow His footprints, His path, for our lives.  

How does this letting go look in your own life?  You don't have to go through something so traumatic as what I have just shared in order to see the path God has for you! 

"Sometimes we have to let go of our dreams in order for His dreams to come to fruition. Are we so busy planning out how our lives should go, our dreams, our purpose, that we miss His purpose for our life? I submit that you won't be fulfilled until you relinquish those dreams to the God who created you for His purpose!" ~ Gay Idle ♥

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance." Ephesians 1:18

The Windmill Farmer...seeds for thought???

I saw this video posted on another site and couldn't help but see the analogy to the way God is at work in our lives on a daily basis in a very real and very personal way.

 Take the time to watch the video and let me know what you think about it.



The Windmill Farmer from Joaquin Baldwin on Vimeo.

 Here's my take on the video:

God is in control. We plant the seeds and then need to step back and let God do His good work...we can't micromanage everything. Sometimes the worst possible things that happen(in our eyes), turn out to be the vehicle through which God can do His greatest work! So no matter what you may be going through...no matter how hard it may be, trust that God is in control and loves you beyond your wildest imagination.  

Romans 8:28 tells us that..." in all things God works  for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."  Wow... "all things"..the good, the bad and the ugly!! God can do His good work through anything that fallen mankind, fallen nature, or the enemy throws His way!  He can and does take those things which are meant to do us harm and He works it out for our own good when we are living according to His word, His will, and His way! 

We are called to live according to His purpose...how will we respond?  
What are you planting today?