Open the Eyes of my heart, Lord ~my prayer in the midst of my writer's block...

So...it's been awhile since I have written a blog post.  Sorry for the neglect...well...actually it started with a major writer's block. One that I am afraid was begun in fear.

Fear of a writing project I have been asked to be a part of...nothing really huge, mind you, just a chapter in a book. We, I and several other women, are writing to encourage  Mom's who may be in the midst of raising a special needs child. I have some personal experience in this area. You see, my  son has a very rare migraine condition called Sporadic Hemiplegic Migraines (SHM).

  SHM is a condition that has caused my son, Brad, to suffer two traumatic brain events...a stroke at the age of thirteen (February 1999) and again at the age of twenty two (July 2007), his migraine led to non-stop seizures which put him in danger of permanent brain damage if they could not stop the seizures. So they basically put him into a medicinally induced coma. Brad was in the Neurocritical Care Unit of Johns Hopkins University Hospital for 16 days!

Both events, in '99 and '07, resulted in multiple hospital transfers, multiple days in ICU's/ Neurocritical Care Units, and inpatient rehabilitation hospitals. Those days were followed by  many months of physical, speech, and occupational  out- patient therapies. Immediately after each of these events Brad was unable to do anything...talk, walk, speak, read, write, simple math, recognition of coins, basic care skills, basic social skills, ALL had to be relearned.  I jokingly tell people that I have raised our one son three times.  In reality it's not a joke but a big part of the story of my son's life...and mine, as well as every member of our family. 

In many of my blog posts, to this point, I have shared life lessons that God has taught me from simple things...such as the antics of my puppy or the beauty of nature or just lessons from life in general.  But I haven't written about our experiences with our son, Brad, who, by the way, is doing quite well now...despite the fact that we are still working through some of his cognitive impairment from his last event. To be honest I know that God has much for me to share about what He has taught me through our son's ordeals. It is just so hard sometimes to put into words on a page. Somehow it goes deep to the core of my being and tears begin to flow. 

God IS so very good and has walked with us every step of the way.  I believe that He has now given me the direction that my writing should take...sharing the blessings through the trials.

 God has a plan and a purpose for my son's life...for my life.  The plans that formulated in my heart as a young, married, soon to be mother so many years ago have taken a dramatic turn.  I would have thought by now my son would have graduated from college, be established in the profession of his (and Gods) choice, and married with one or two children of his own.  His own dream since he was 9 years old was to be a Minister, married, and have children by the time he had reached his present age.   Many times I have prayed,  "LORD, why...why have you not given him his heart's desire...surely they line up with your will?!" Just when I think none of it makes any sense God gives me glimpses of His purpose, His glory on the mountain tops, He shows me light on this valley floor. And I am once again comforted and filled with the peace that passes understanding...HIS peace.

Am I saying that God actually chose to inflict my son with this awful condition? No. We live in a fallen world that displays the result of sin. Ever since the fall in the Garden of Eden, things have been going downhill. Everything has been affected by that choice made so long ago.  What I am saying is that God, for whatever reason, has allowed this to come to pass and He has and is going to bring about His glory and His good for Brad and our family. His word promises that " in all things God works for the good of those who love Him , who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. I trust that God is working this out.  My son loves the Lord and has been called! I just have to let go and let God work out His plan.  I have to follow His footprints, His path, for our lives.  

How does this letting go look in your own life?  You don't have to go through something so traumatic as what I have just shared in order to see the path God has for you! 

"Sometimes we have to let go of our dreams in order for His dreams to come to fruition. Are we so busy planning out how our lives should go, our dreams, our purpose, that we miss His purpose for our life? I submit that you won't be fulfilled until you relinquish those dreams to the God who created you for His purpose!" ~ Gay Idle ♥

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance." Ephesians 1:18

Run to Him...

My dog, Clair, loves to chew on things.  If she doesn't have enough toys she will start looking in my office trash can for empty water bottles.  The water bottles happen to be one of her favorite things to chew and I might add one of the most annoying because of the  crinkly noise the plastic makes as she mauls it...annoying to me and anyone else who happens to be in the same room when she is attacking a plastic water bottle...but I think the noise is, for her, a reward for a bottle well chewed! 

Every once in awhile Clair will find something, as do most young dogs not quite out of the puppy stage, that she should not be chewing on.  Usually, when she has something in her mouth, I will tell her to show it to me.  At that point she will hunch down over the object as she drops it between her two front paws, ready to snatch it up quickly in case I attempt to take it from her.  Interestingly enough she rarely runs at this point and I am able to retrieve whatever it is she has chosen to turn into a chew toy.  

This morning as I was sitting in my office reading, I noticed that I had not heard any noise from her in awhile so I decided to go find her and see what she was up to...you know the rule...if they are too quiet, they must be into something;  same rule that we think of with children.  I know...dogs are definitely not children but, strangely enough, there are times when I think Clair has striking similarities to a toddler.  Anyway, as I went to check it out I found her on my bed with something in her mouth.  I asked her to show me what she had and she did her usual quick drop between her paws, but then immediately grabbed it back up and ran with it in her mouth, as she leapt off the bed, out the door, and into the other room as fast as she could go.  

It was a Halls cough drop.  She must have loved what she had and decided that this time she was going to get what she wanted and the best way to do that was to leave my presence. 

Suddenly, a thought hit me!  Isn’t this what I do…what we all do...at times?  When we know we are coveting something we shouldn’t have…when we are craving after things that are not in God’s will for us...we run from God.  We get far away from His presence so that we can feel good about this new thing, or selfish choice, and not feel His displeasure. 

Jonah did this too.  Remember him, the guy who spent three days in the belly of a big fish because he chose to run from God instead of doing what He knew God wanted of Him? 

I remember doing an in depth study, an inductive study, on the book of Jonah and even though I had read that story many times before...new truths just jumped out at me.   Not only did Jonah run, but he ran in the opposite direction from where God had wanted him to go.  He was willfully disobeying God.   I had written in my notes, "I can't imagine running from God...but I guess not doing what He clearly tells me to do in His word is the same as running from God."  

When Jonah was still on the ship and trouble came, he knew the trouble had come to them because he was running away from God yet he didn't choose at that point to run back to God.  Instead, he chose to be thrown overboard.  At which time the great big fish swallowed him.  WOW! Talk about stubbornly going your own way!  

Now I would think at this point he would have immediately called out to God saying, "I will go and do whatever you say" ...but no, he stayed in the belly of that fish for three days, and three nights!!!  Yuck and gross!!  Can you imagine? Yet, how many times do we choose to wallow in our own self-pity because of the circumstances that our own selfish choices have brought about in our lives. How long before we repent and turn back to God? 

The most amazing thing about Jonah's story is that when he finally cried out to God...as he was entrenched in bile,  seaweed wrapped around his head, growing faint almost to the point of death...he looked  toward the LORD's Temple and acknowledged that salvation comes from the LORD...God heard him!  

God heard his prayers and rescued Jonah from the pit of despair!!  Not only did God hear him but He still allowed Jonah to be His instrument, His prophet. When Jonah ran from God's presence, he was willfully disobeying God; obedience moved him back into God's presence. 

Time and time again through the Bible, we see God's people turn away from Him as they choose to go their own way, leading them away from the presence of God; first in the Garden of Eden, then through the sacrifices, the Tabernacle, and the Temple.  

Finally,  God sends prophets to instruct and warn His people,  that even though the Temple will be destroyed,  there is  One who is coming ,who will set all things right...the Messiah.  One of the first names given to this Messiah was Emmanuel, God with us!!  Jesus came, God in the flesh, to dwell among us and to offer Himself as the only perfect and acceptable sacrifice for our sins.  His death, burial and resurrection give us  a hope and a future and provide  a way for us back into relationship with God, the Father.  

When he ascended to Heaven He didn't leave us to continue on in this harsh, sin ridden world alone.  We now have the Holy Spirit...His presence in our lives!  Time and time again, we see God establishing His presence among His people. 

His love never fails...even when we do!  

The book of Jonah and all of God's Word teaches us that compassion and grace and His active presence in our lives are not given based on  what we deserve, but they are based on our responsive steps in the right direction.  I am amazed and in awe of how loving and forgiving God is to us all!!

Aren't you glad that we have the stories of the lives of those who have gone before us written in the Word of God that show us how much God loves us and to what great lengths He will go to make sure we are in a right relationship with Him!!  

 So... as the saying goes, "if you don't feel close to God...guess who moved." 

 I, for one, want so very much to be moving in the right direction...in obedience towards my heavenly Father!! 

I am so thankful that He gives me these glimpses from time to time, these sacred echoes, as reminders of God's desire for me and my desire for God.  Sometimes the glimpses come from a deeper reading of His Word...and sometimes...well sometimes they come in the form of a chocolate brown lab, named Clair. 

Let's put this in perspective...

I have been on a Sabbatical for the whole month of July...well...technically I was supposed to be.  We took a week to go out of town and play and rest…See feet/selfie to the right.

The rest of the time has been a stay cation.  Now, as I understand a stay cation is supposed to be a vacation that you spend at home...relaxing, reading, maybe doing a few projects around the house…you get the picture.

 However, as a minister's wife in a relatively small (around 19,000) town, a stay cation doesn't quite work the way I had envisioned.  As it turns out;  everyone knows where you live, knows you are home and knows you are available if needed.   I will say that our church family was wonderful in honoring our sabbatical and other than a couple of emergencies, most left us to ourselves, to relax and restore.  I think my biggest problem was...well...ME!  Being home it was hard not to think in terms of what needed to be done...get those women signed up for the Women of Faith Conference, work on the nursery volunteer list and make sure the nursery was staffed during the month of July...and then there was my Tuesday morning Bible study group which I still led of course since I was in town, after all. And of course...there was the house.  It is incredibly hard to truly relax and read for hours when there is housework to be done!  Vacuuming and laundry and dishes...not that I actually got a lot of housework accomplished...just the guilt of knowing it needed to be done seemed to block my ability to enjoy myself.  I was, indeed,  my own worst enemy.

There is one thing that happened  to put so much of this in perspective...one incredibly sad and yet amazingly wonderful occurrence.  My friend, Joni, unexpectantly went home to be with the Lord.  Joni is the reason I even had a summer bible study to begin with.  Normally,  we just take a break for the summer with our women's bible study groups.  She really wanted to be in a study group because she felt she would learn more than if she just read the bible and studied on her own.  She was so hungry to learn more about God and His word that she didn't want to wait until we started back in the fall to begin.  How could I say no to that?  So I found the NIV Bible in 90 Days.  It sounded perfect...we would follow a reading plan to read through the entire bible in 90 days, while meeting weekly for discussion.

My beautiful friend, Joni...you are missed by so many!

Joni loved this study and her enthusiasm for the Word was contagious to the whole group!  She had shared with us that for years she went to church and did volunteer work and church work and thought that was what made her a Christian.  In her pursuit of God, she had also tried so many things that were not at all what someone would think of as "Christian", even being a wiccan for a time. Joni's approach to this search for God, as her approach to life, was one of over the top, infectious enthusiasm.  However, she shared that only in the past year or so had she really been a Christian...that she discovered the work was already done...not anything she did, but what Christ had done in dying on the cross to take her sins away, and to restore her relationship to God.  Since then she has been hungry to know Him more, to grow in her relationship with Him. She finally knew that being a christian was about relationship and not religion.  Now she didn't want to waste any more time!!  She hated missing even one week of Bible study...and then the unexpected happened.

It didn't make much sense;  I mean she was on dialysis. She  had recently gotten home from the hospital from an infection and then went in for one more day of dialysis, which seemed to tire her more than usual.  She went home, went to bed and never woke up.  Wow! How can you explain that?  Finally she has found her path to God...she is on a good path in her journey.  Her family is all the world to her, besides her new found relationship with Christ and she loves her church...even her health problems appeared to be manageable. So why would this happen?

 I'm not sure we will ever truly know this side of heaven. I like to think that Joni's desire to know the Lord was so strong that He just took her on home rather than have her endure the pain and trials she had yet to suffer in her time with her illness on this earth. But, really...I just don't know.  One thing I do know..Joni is now walking...no...dancing with the Lord!!  No more canes, no more dialysis, no more tears!  All her questions can now be answered by the King of kings and Lord of lords!!  She is now among the great cloud of witnesses waiting for her friends and loved ones to join her in due time. Let's not disappoint her!!!
                                                                           

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You Complete Me...or not?

We all long to have a relationship with the one person with whom we will feel safe, secure, accepted, respected, cherished, wanted, and encouraged to be all we can be...shall I go on?   Most seem to be either looking to find that relationship or longing for it while feeling stuck in one that doesn't seem to be giving them what they are looking for...or expecting.

So many women I know seem to see more faults than strengths in the person they have chosen to spend the rest of their life with.  It's amazing to me that we can think positively in so many other areas of our lives even giving most friends the courtesy of trying to think the best of them in the most trying of circumstances...but when it comes to our husbands...we turn into "negative Nellie's".  As a result, so many women, and men jump ship before really trying to figure out what is going on in their relationship.

Ladies...if you want to have a good relationship, a ten...then don't be a five...what are you bringing to your relationships?   Maybe we should put into  practice the verse that is referred to as the golden rule..."Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Luke 6:31.  Clinical psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud says, " If we want the great things that relationships offer-like love, security, and growth-then we have to be capable of building love, providing security, and fostering growth. When we are, we can have the relationships we want. Until we are, great relationships will elude us.".  Imagine if we all took those words to heart and acted on them?  All men and women...wow...can you imagine the results?

If you are single and looking for "the one", don't allow all of your energy to be focused on the pursuit. Your energy needs to be focused on "being" the one. Pay attention to the person you are becoming. Do you have healthy relationship skills, healthy coping skills? Work on developing the kind of skills that will give you the kind of relationship you want. Yes, it is important to find the right person, but if you are not the right person you will just bring the other one down to your level. "Relationships fail when the skills to make them work are not present in one or both of the people involved."~ Dr. Henry Cloud,

If you are married please know that I am not saying that if you work on you and practice treating your husband the way you would want to be treated then all your marital problems will be solved.   I know that it takes two to make a marriage work.  But you do have to start with you. In your relationship with your husband, the only one you have control over is you.  

Ladies, I have said this many times as I have taught and counseled women throughout the years...we cannot be our husband's Holy Spirit!  Last time I checked that job has already been filled by One who is so much more capable and powerful in His influence than we could ever hope to be.  So what do we do?  We work on ourselves and pray for our spouses.  We practice good communication skills.  If necessary, in extreme circumstances, and with the help of godly counsel, we create the crisis that may be needed to nudge our spouses to wake up to the fact that they have married a daughter of the KING OF KINGS, who is worthy of his adoration, respect, love, protection...need I go on?

So...how about it?  Who makes you miserable or happy in your relationships?  You or the other person?  Or just maybe we are looking at this all wrong.  As my dear hubby is so fond of pointing out my very own words on this matter..."I can't be your everything...I will never be the one to completely fulfill you, nor should I try to be...only God can do that."

Are you allowing God to fill in the empty spaces?  Those spaces are God-shaped holes and no human being on this earth will ever be able to completely fill them up.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love" ~ GOD (Jeremiah 31:3)

Now that is something to think about...

Do we really remember on this day?

Memorial Day is often a day spent with family and friends...filled with family backyard barbecues,  a day at the beach/lake, or maybe spent getting summer gardens readied. For some families it means making sure the graves of their loved ones have flowers. Those flowers are placed there out of  respect for the lives lived and died in sacrificial service to  our country. For others, it's just another day off work...a time to relax or play or sleep. 

 I'm not sure that I have ever been alone on Memorial Day...ever.  Well, that is until today.  I find myself alone today.  My husband and son are visiting family in KY/MI for my husband's nephew's wedding...their presence was required as they were both actually in the wedding.  My daughter and her husband are on their first road trip as a married couple to visit family back east.  So here I am with my two dogs.  I was okay being left back home...until today.  I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because my husband has been gone for almost a full week...or maybe it's just being alone on a holiday when I am accustomed to being with family. 

So I find myself doing laundry, a little cleaning, making plans to do some reading in the sun this afternoon, and making a trip to Walmart.  Now usually at the check-out line in stores on a holiday the typical greeting would be, "Happy (insert name of holiday here)".  I didn't hear that today...well, there was this one woman in the aisle saying, "Happy Memorial Day" to someone as she passed.  I couldn't help but think, is that an appropriate greeting on a holiday such as today?  Is it a day to say be happy or somber...or just grateful?   As I sit and reflect on this day I wonder how many people really know what it's  all about.  To many it is merely the weekend that represents the beginning of summer vacations and activities.  Some people think it is a holiday for remembering any and all dead.  Wow...it saddens me that we are so easily forgetting a meaningful memorial to our nation's history. This holiday represents a memorial to all of those who have died defending the freedoms of this country...a time to show our thanks and gratitude for all of those living and dead who were and are willing to lay their lives on the line so that we continue to have the privilege of living in a free country.  If you are interested in a bit more about this holiday you should check the website, www.usmemorialday.org/backgrnd.  Among the origins and the meaning of the holiday, it mentions the origins of the red poppies I remember seeing being worn on this day when I was a young girl. I didn't see any of those poppies today...hmmm....

So in honor of all of those who laid their lives down for the freedoms we are privileged to experience in this great nation of ours(yes...in comparison to so many other countries and in spite of its flaws, we live in a great nation),  I will say a personal prayer of thanksgiving and leave you with these words:

A Soldier
By A. Aguilar

There is  discipline in A Soldier you can see it when he walks,
There is honor in A Soldier you hear it when he talks.

There is courage in A Soldier you can see it in his eyes,
There is loyalty in A Soldier that he will not compromise. 

There is something in A Soldier that makes him stand apart,
There is strength in A Soldier that beats from his heart.

A Soldier isn't a title any man can be hired to do,
A Soldier is the soul of that man buried deep inside of you.

A Soldier's job isn't finished after an 8 hour day or a 40 hour week,
A Soldier is always A Soldier even while he sleeps.

A Soldier serves his country first and his life is left behind,
A Soldier has to sacrifice what comes first in a civilian's mind.

If you are a civilian - I am saying this to you…
next time you see A Soldier remember what they do.

A Soldier is the reason our land is 'Home of the free',
A soldier is the one that is brave protecting you and me. 

If you are A Soldier - I am saying this to you…
Thank God for EVERY SOLDIER Thank God for what YOU do!

For EVERY FALLEN HERO,
The ultimate sacrifice they have given is beyond any words, God Bless the 
families and loved ones that have had to endure the pain of losing their HERO. 
My sympathies, prayers, love and respect are with you all. 

Remembering all those who made the ultimate sacrifice. God bless. ✝

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:13

Have a memorable Memorial Day.

No one knows the day or the hour...not even Harold.

OK...so I find it hard not to write something about the recent (turns out...non-eventful)  prediction made by Harold Camping, 89 year old founder of Family Radio.  I have to admit that until I saw a few, rather mocking, comments on Facebook about this man and his predictions, I really didn't know much about him. So being the student that I am I proceeded to do a little research.

 Turns out his specific prediction was that the Day of Judgement was to begin on 6 p.m., Saturday, May 21st...beginning with a tremendous earthquake..as he states in his very own words,

  "when we get to May 21 on the calendar in any city or country in the world, and the clock says about — this is based on other verses in the Bible — when the clock says about 6 p.m., there’s going to be this tremendous earthquake that’s going to make the last earthquake in Japan seem like nothing in comparison. And the whole world will be alerted that Judgment Day has begun. And then it will follow the sun around for 24 hours. As each area of the world gets to that point of 6 p.m. on May 21, then it will happen there, and until it happens, the rest of the world will be standing far off and witnessing the horrible thing that is happening."  

Well that clears up everything...NOT! Is it just me, or did that statement make any sense at all? 

 In an interview conducted by New York Magazine, in reference to his most recent May 21st prediction, he is quoted as saying this:

“God has given sooo much information in the Bible about this, and so many proofs, and so many signs, that we know it is absolutely going to happen without any question at all. There’s nothing in the Bible that God has ever prophesied — there’s many things that he prophesied would happen and they always have happened — but there’s nothing in the Bible that holds a candle to the amount of information to this tremendous truth of the end of the world. I would be absolutely in rebellion against God if I thought anything other than it is absolutely going to happen without any question.”   

This prediction from Camping, was not his first prediction of this event...nor his last. He had actually made a similar prediction in 1994, and now that this one didn't pan out he is now trying to say that...oops,my bad...It's actually October.

 This man is not the first to make such predictions and sadly, not the last.  What a sad commentary that  many believed this man. Yes, even those who profess to be Christian, yet really don't even know the Word...they are so unfamiliar with the scriptures that they begin to question the validity of false prophets such as this man, even when he has a proven track record of being a failure as a prophet proclaiming the Word of the Lord!  Shouldn't we search the scriptures everyday, as the Bereans did in Acts 17:11, to see if what is being proclaimed to us lines up with the Word of God? 

Albert Mohler addresses this very issue in  an article on Harold Camping. The following points are an  excerpt from this article:

First, Christ specifically admonished his disciples not to claim such knowledge. In Acts 1:7, Jesus said, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority.” In Matthew 24:36, Christ taught similarly: “But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.”
To state the case plainly, these two verses explicitly forbid Christians to claim the knowledge of such dates and times. Jesus clearly taught that the Father has not revealed such dates and timing, but has reserved that knowledge for himself. It is an act of incredible presumptuousness to claim that a human knows such a date, or has determined God’s timing by any means.
Second, the Bible does not contain hidden codes that we are to find and decipher. The Bible has been given to us in order that we might know the truth, and the truth is clearly revealed in its pages. We are not to look for hidden patterns of words, numbers, dates, or anything else. The Bible’s message is plain and requires no mathematical computation for its understanding. The claim that one has found a hidden code or system in the Bible is an insult to the Bible as the Word of God.
Third, Christians are indeed to be looking for Christ to return and seeking to be found faithful when Christ comes. We are not to draw a line in history and set a date, but we are to be about the Father’s business, sharing the Gospel and living faithful Christian lives. We are not to sit on rooftops like the Millerites, waiting for Christ’s return. We are to be busy doing what Christ has commanded us to do.
In Hebrews 9:28, we are taught that Christ will come a second time “to save those who are eagerly waiting for him.” That is the faithful Christian response to the New Testament teachings about Christ’s coming. The church is not to be arrogantly setting dates, but instead to be eagerly waiting for him. Of that we can be truly certain.

Well said!!    As we are looking forward to His return, and as we wait what is required of us?

 "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

In eager anticipation of His return,

Today is National Day of Prayer!!!

Were you aware that today is National Day of Prayer ?!  In honor of this day I wanted to share  this Focus on the Family broadcast.

Prayer is so important for all of us!  It needs to be not just another spiritual discipline but a defining part of our relationship with God!

So...get a cup of coffee... sit back in a comfy seat...click on the link below and enjoy!!

 (Update: the original link I had submitted for this post had expired so I found one that works).

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/media/focus-on-the-family-minute/hanging-onto-god-through-prayer

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight. ~Philippians 1:9