When God Whispers...That Still Small Voice

It happened in the early days of our church plant at Journey. One evening the hubs and I were driving from Reno back to our new home in Fernley when we passed by a canyon. Sitting far back into the mountain-side was a building of sorts, with bright flashing red lights. I mean BRIGHT, and FLASHING! What in the world was that? I asked the hubs and he said that he had heard it was a  brothel!

And then I felt it. That heavy burden pressing in on my heart...it was palpable. My heart cried out for the women at that place...women who used their bodies for financial gain.  I wanted to weep for these women and hated the lies of the enemy that had led them to that place.  I knew this was the voice of God speaking to me...But what could I do?

God said pray...

So I began to pray for those women, knowing nothing about them really. Who they were...why they were there...if they even wanted to be there.
As I prayed, I asked God...Lord why? Why have you placed this burden on my heart?  What in the world could I do? Brothels are legal in Nevada...doesn't that mean these women are choosing this lifestyle? Are they living this lifestyle in response to a painful past, one even more painful than the life they are presently living out?   ...and on and on I prayed.

As we began to get settled into our new life in Nevada and our new ministry God began opening doors...slowly...oh so slowly.  Several things began to happen...

I met the Director of the Local Crisis Pregnancy Center. Journey had decided to take this on as a local mission and thus began a sweet friendship.  I even began training at the Crisis Pregnancy Center, thinking maybe God would use me there as a counselor. This invaluable training has deepened my burden for those women who find themselves in hard places. It has given me the ability to see these women as God sees them. Beautiful, loved and adored by their creator...yet marred by the enemies deceit and lies. His heart breaks over their brokenness. Oh to have a heart that breaks over the very things that break the heart of God!

I got connected to the Director of Awaken INC...a group in Reno that fights human sex trafficking right there in the streets of  Reno. I have heard first hand some of the atrocities that go on in our own 'backyard'.  Please believe me when I say that human trafficking is not just something that goes on in other countries far away. It is happening in our neighborhoods, to our children, across the nation.  God has opened my eyes to the heartache and pain, the brokenness that surrounds me. I continue to pray.

My next connection was with a woman I met through the Open Doors Women's Conference, a one day conference held by one of our local churches every year for all women in the community. Journey, our church, hosts this event in our building. It was there that I met a woman who is involved in a ministry that goes into the brothels just outside Carson City to minister to the girls who work there.  So we began to talk about how I could learn more about their ministry and how it worked
...and I continued to pray.

In the midst of all of the previous 'for such a time as this' encounters, our family moved to a new neighborhood...just across town. I love to walk and I began walking again as soon as we settled in, mapping out a two-mile route that I would soon follow day after day. The hubs came home one day from golf and said one of his golfing buddies told him that someone connected to the brothel, the madam, lived right there in our neighborhood.  I had been walking by her house every day!  As I became aware of the exact location I used this as the prompt to pray for her and the girls at the brothel as I walked past her house. I still do...although my walking routine has become rather sporadic.
 But still...I pray.

One gloriously beautiful day (we have a lot of those here in Northern Nevada), I went out for my usual two-mile walk. As I passed by 'the house' I distinctly heard a still small voice. "Go knock on the door." To which I said,  "What???!!!  Are you kidding me, God?  What the heck am I going to say if she opens the door? Hey...I know who you are?  I mean...really?  I can't even think of anything going on that I could invite her too. She would say no, anyway."  And on and on and on I went. I stood right there on the sidewalk for a solid ten minutes arguing with God. Telling Him all the reasons this was just...well... a bad idea!

But in the end...I went and knocked on the door.  I waited. I knocked again. I rang the doorbell. I waited.  Ok, Lord...you told me to knock. She has to be here!  So I knocked harder.  It was dark inside from what I could see. It appeared no one was home. Still, I knocked and I waited some more. Surely God would not tell me to knock if she was not there. What sense did that make? But no one answered the door. So finally, feeling a bit dejected...and relieved, I walked back out to the sidewalk.  As I stood on the sidewalk I looked heavenward and said, 'Why??? Why in the world did you tell me to go and knock on her door?  You knew she wasn't there..so why???

Immediately I heard His answer, "Obedience".

Okay, Lord...I hear you.

You see, if I am to be given the honor of walking out this ministry to these women, I first have to learn to step out in obedience to His voice. Even when it makes no sense to me at all! I need to be ready to go when He says, "go"; to do what He tells me to do; to walk in obedience to His word in every area of my life. So that when He is ready to open more doors in answer to walking the next step of this journey, I will be ready and willing to go through the door.  I suspect some of those doors are going to be hard to step through. They may take me way out of my comfort zone. But I believe I am willing and where I am weak and 'unable'...He will enable me.

 I believe He will bring others along-side me to continue on in whatever this ministry will look like. I'm still waiting and praying. I could run ahead and start things...but I know I cannot do this in my own strength...so I pray and I wait to hear His voice.

 I believe the primary way He speaks to us is through His Word.  In order to hear His voice clearly, we need to be grounded in His Word.(Click to tweet).  It certainly makes it easier to discern His voice over and against the cacophony of voices that surround us every day.  He may speak to us through a particular verse in scripture, a sermon, a friends advice, or a song we hear on the radio.  God's voice echoes through many different avenues the message He intends for us to hear.  However, it is so very important to be able to discern when those 'outside' voices conflict with God's Word...even the well-meaning ones. For it is then, when there is a direct conflict with the Word, we know that it is not God speaking.

And so...I sit before Him each morning, with coffee, reading glasses, and Bible in hand.  I wait expectantly because I know that He has a plan. I walk and pray...and listen for His voice. I know that in listening to His voice I will find the purpose He has for me...and in finding that purpose I know I will find my voice.(Click to tweet)

How about you? Are you listening for His voice?

Whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you. saying, "This is the way; walk in it."   ~Isaiah 30:21

I am linking up with Jo Ann and the other beautiful women to talk about listening for the voice of God...hearing His voice and in that, finding our own voice...sharing our stories. Not to rehash the past...or commiserate over our wounded-ness but with freedom and joy and purpose to share our hearts and allow God to use us...our voices...to make a difference, to help women find hope and healing.

SaveSave

Forgiveness...Why So hard?

Forgiveness...a hard word for many people. Why is that? Why is it so very hard to forgive?

For some, I think the problem lies in the fact that they are afraid to admit that there is a deep hurt that needs to be forgiven. They like to think that if they just get on with life the wounded-ness will go away.  So instead of saying, "yes, I forgive you", they just say, "oh...don't even worry about it"...or "it was nothing, really".  Sometimes they don't even want to admit to others that they have been wounded. They may look at it as being too confrontational and they avoid confrontation at all costs.  The problem with this approach to life is that the wounds don't just go away on their own...they lie beneath the surface...waiting to fester at the next offense that flows from the direction of their offender.

And then there's this...

Some things seem just...well...unforgivable. Spousal abuse and child abuse(physical or sexual), extra-marital affairs and murder. These are just some the offenses that fall into that category.  We want to see people held accountable for their actions. Frankly, we want to see them suffer the consequences of their actions.   When we have been hurt and wounded deeply, we(in our human condition) want to see the guilty pay...and pay dearly.  

And I believe this is where the word 'forgive' gets all muddled in the translation.

We think that if we forgive someone for their unforgivable actions that we are condoning those actions. We feel that would mean we are excusing them...even giving them license to continue hurting either ourselves or others. We think, " How can we forgive and let them go...scott free! How can we allow them to continue hurting ourselves and others by their selfish and sometimes even heinous acts?"  

The truth is, forgiveness does not give people permission to go on offending...to go on hurting. It does not make the wrong that has been committed against you,'okay'. Forgiveness does not forbid us to put boundaries in place to prevent the offender from taking advantage of us or wounding us again.   IT DOES NOT!   See...that's where we get it all confused.

When you refuse to forgive you are giving the person who hurt you permission to hurt you all over again...in your mind, your memory. Every. single. time. you dredge up the offense you are allowing yourself to be hurt all over again. Bitterness becomes embedded into your heart and soul and becomes a heavy burden.

In Matthew Jesus teaches His disciples to pray, "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." Jesus then follows with these words: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."  Whoa...those are strong words.  There are passages in scripture that may, at first, make it seem as if forgiveness is conditional.  "If they ask...only then will I forgive". However, when I look at all of God's Word in light of the concept of forgiveness I see simply that we are called to forgive. Period.

You see...when we forgive we are not letting the person get away with anything. We are not setting the offender free! It's okay to hold someone accountable that you have already forgiven. It is even okay, to set boundaries so that you cannot be wounded by that person in the same way again. However, it is NOT okay to hang onto the anger, bitterness and hurt for the rest of your life.

The Greek word for 'forgive' in the New Testament is aphiemi and appears there 146 times.  It is actually translated 'forgive' only 47 of those times. It can also mean to suffer, to forsake, to let alone, and more. But more frequently it is translated 'leave'.   Forgiveness is to send the offense and our anger and bitterness away.

When we forgive we are setting ourselves free from the unfair pain that was caused by someone else.  We are letting go of the offense so that we can move on, without the baggage; the weight of wounded-ness on our hearts and souls. We are free to allow the Lord to heal the hurt and pain...the open wound can now close. Leaving behind only the scar in its place. The scar is simply an indication that healing has taken place. Forgiveness restores our own soul and gives us hope for a better future.

I am called to forgive as in Christ God has forgiven me. I don't deserve to be forgiven. Nothing I have done deserves the love and grace that God pours out on me. I am so very thankful that I serve a Savior who is so loving and forgiving. God requires justice for my sins, yes! But Jesus paid the penalty for me, and for you when He took our place on the cross of Calvary. He paid the price! Oh, how thankful I am that He did!!

Because of His great love, I walk forward...forgiven.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Ephesians 4:32


I am linking up with Jo Ann and the other beautiful women on Wednesdays to talk about forgiveness.  Not to rehash the past...or commiserate over our wounded-ness but with freedom and joy and purpose to share our hearts and allow God to use us...our voices...to make a difference, to help women find hope and healing.

Write! That's All He Said...Five Minute Friday

Oh how I have missed my Five Minute Friday's. I've been traveling and busy working on two different book launch teams and have neglected this activity that has become a discipline...the catalyst to get my fingers to the keyboard and spill words out onto the page from the depths of my heart. All based on one word...just one word from Lisa-Jo and hundreds of bloggers all over the country and beyond get their creative thinking caps on and type for five minutes(or longer...as is usually the case with me), whatever comes to mind based on that one word.

I've been so overwhelmingly busy with...well...LIFE, that I thought I might not do another FMF post until late October or maybe even November. Then I happened onto Lisa-Jo's post for today, and the word prompt was WRITE.  This word has a very special meaning to me so I could not ignore it this week and WRITE I must!

So here goes...
 Write

Go...

As I have shared in a previous post, God gave me a word in 2008. Yes...I heard one, single, solitary word. Over and over and over...in as close to being a real hear-it-out-loud voice as I have ever heard. I knew that this was God's voice telling me to write. I just had no idea what it was He wanted me to write. Here is the entry in my journal around the time I was hearing this from God...

February 3, 2008
Write. Write…Write! This one word has been playing over and over to me for weeks now, maybe even months. Almost audibly. I hear the word. I believe god is telling me to write. I have shared this with Rod, Lyndsay, and my ladies bible study. Now I feel accountable, but I still don't know WHAT I am supposed to write. 

 And here is a little of what was going on in my mind at this time…

Ok God...I get it! I'm supposed to write, but could you clue me in on exactly what I'm supposed to write about.? Oh yeah...and I'm not exactly a writer ...sooooo, I'm gonna need a little help here. I'm scared. What if I write the wrong thing or worse yet, what if it stinks?  What if I write something and nobody reads it? Or they read it and hate it?  Is this supposed to be a book or a project?  My testimony? I'm not ready to share all of my life with the world.  Our son Brad had just experienced his second traumatic brain incident and we were in the process of going with him through all of the speech, occupational and physical therapies. Was I supposed to write about that?  It was all still too real and raw to share with the world at large. No...not that...not yet.  

So...I began to journal, somewhat sporadically. I figured if God wanted me to write I needed to walk in obedience to His voice and write...something...anything, until He gave me something a little more concrete with which to work. Then in October of that year I began this blog. It was a very slow process as I had no idea what I was doing. I am a sporadic blogger...not good in the blogging world.  You don't build a better blog unless you actually...blog. 

God has brought me a long way from that day in February of 2008. Sometimes God gives us a 'word' or a vision but it might be years before it is ready to be set into place...to see it come to fruition.(Click to tweet)  Look how long it took Joseph to step into his calling! You can read about all he had to go through to be ready to be the instrument God used to save his nation and the lives of his own brothers who had left him for dead so many years before (1 Samuel 17:51). 

God uses all those things in our lives...the good, the bad and the ugly to work out His good and perfect will in our lives when we are walking in the path He has set before us. Even when we have no idea where that path might lead or even what it will look like.  When He says go...go. When He says do...do! When He says WRITE...I'm going to write!

Since hearing that word from God...WRITE...I have had the privilege of being a contributing writer in two books. The first one you can find on my sidebar...Bloom Where You're Planted by Anne Milam. The second book's working title is, God Must Think I'm Superwoman: The High Calling of Parenting Your Child with Special Needs, Westbow Publishing. That book is at the editor's as I write this...and the chapter that I wrote for that book is what I believe God called me to write so many years ago.  I believe that, because the enemy has been working hard to deter the process of it's publishing. 

 I continue to write because I believe God has called me to this thing. I will probably never be  a well known writer but I'm okay with that because I believe God will use the words that He has given me to further the work of His kingdom here on earth. I believe He has and will continue to use me to encourage, enlighten and engage my readers in seeing every part of the culture and world in which we live through the lens and filter of God's Word. And that is enough for me! 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. 

                                                                                       Romans 8:28

Now it's your turn...

1. Write for 5 minutes flat - no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. 

Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community...

Road Trip...Part Two...The Blessing of Family

Here it is...the second installment of the Idle Family Road Trip, 2013. These posts are very different from my usual writing, but I thought some of you might enjoy the trip!

 For those of you who know our family you may be wondering what happened to Josh(son-in-law-of my heart). He couldn't get off work. We're hoping that he will be able to make the next family trip. We all missed him, but especially Lyndsay and Judah!  

We flew to Virginia but left on our way to Ohio in this beautiful conversion van. What a blessing!!  

We drove well over 500 miles to Bryan, Ohio
in just one day...passing through Virginia,
Pennsylvania, Indiana, and finally Ohio.  

                         I said, "we drove" didn't I?  Let me clarify that, Rod drove. I did this...

I tried to read, but I kept falling asleep. So...I gave up on that and took a few photos...keep in mind these were all taken through a closed car window! 

Barn...one of many, many seen on the road

Allegheny Tunnel, Pennsylvania Turnpike

Typical scenery in Pennsylvania, Ohio and Indiana

So wish we could have stopped and gotten out to take these pics

Judah thought he would take a turn at the wheel.
Well...we let him at the wheel at all the rest stops.
 It was a welcomed break from the rear facing car
seat where he was usually confined during the trip.

                                                                                                    

Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go.

Where Judah gets to meet his Great-grandmother Idle...

 We take walks in the neighborhood to enjoy the beautiful fall weather...

 and Judah meets more aunts and uncles and cousins...family is so very important! Don't have room to post all the photos...

 I will say that God has blessed me with a wonderful Mother-In-Law. She has been both a mentor and second Mom to me for over 30 years now. What a blessing to say that there have only been, maybe, two times throughout those years where she and I have had, shall we say, a bit of a communication problem...and that was during a hurricane, literally! Hurricane Charlie in Florida! We were painting rooms in our house and the hurricane was barreling through...needless to say nerves were on edge. We survived the hurricane and mended the small rift. I can honestly say that I love the relationship that I have with 'mom'. We laugh, cook, do puzzles together, laugh some more, go shopping, and talk and talk...and did I mention laugh?  I love you Flo!! 

Mom and Dad Idle have become my second set of parents, especially since my own mom and dad have passed away. I have even found myself calling Dad Idle, daddy at times. They are truly special in our lives!

     

Here is the infamous puzzle...all set up and started when we got there. Brad and Lyndsay helped out...a little. ;-)  They get tired and don't stay at it as long and Mom and I do.  

The men usually take a day or two...or three, to go play golf.    While the 'girls' go shopping!                                                                                                                                                                                                                           I have to say, Bryan is a tiny little town with not much to offer as far as shops go...

I did manage to find these books for Journey's church Library!
5 books for 5 bucks! Great deal!!

We also headed into Defiance to hit Kohl's...one of my favorite stores! I found a new purse for me, sleeper pj's  and a toy for Judah...can't resist shopping for my grandson! :-) 

Speaking of Judah...here are a few more pics from his time at Great Grandmother Idle's...

What a gift from God!! 

Fascinated with the light from the sky light 

Can I help with the table cloth?

So precious...he loved standing and looking out the windows

Mom Idle with Judah and Lyndsay

I am so glad that we were able to make it back to Ohio with the family! Happy to see Judah meet his Great-grandmother and great-grandfather for the first time and feel so fortunate to have spent time with my husbands family...this family that has grafted itself onto my heart.  What a blessed woman I am!!

I hope you have enjoyed this part of the trip.  The final and third part of this road trip series will cover over 3000 miles from Bryan, Ohio to Fernley, Nevada.  How in the world will I get all of those photos in a blog post????  I guess you'll have to check back and see. ;-)

"As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." 
                                                                                         Jeremiah  24:15

Road Trip...Part One...The Blessing of Family and Friends

Sorry for the long lull in posting.  We have been on the road the past two weeks. So...I'm going 'off track' for these next few posts and giving you a glimpse into our lives on the road. Don't worry...I won't use every photo I took! Those of you who know me well know that I take entirely too many photos to make room for those pics...even in a 3 part post. ;-)

Here are some of the things that occurred during the first leg of our trip...

Flying across the country with our family...son, daughter and our 9-month-old grandson, Judah. He was so good even with two flight connections and all the hustle that it takes to get to the gates each time. Not to mention the bumpy ride over the mountains.

At the airport...

Visiting with friends and family in Virginia and Ohio. We are so very blessed to say that our daughter Lyndsay's in-laws are such good friends and are really so much like family to all of us!  We even managed to help out with a baby shower while in Virginia...

Where we had delicious food....

...and I do believe the yummiest cup cakes I have ever eaten...

We played some ridiculously funny games. Don't even ask...

    

and the mommy-to-be opened gifts.

Where Judah got to visit his Mimi and Grandpa Terry...

                                    and just hang out with both sets of grandparents...

We so enjoyed visiting with our friends and family in Virginia...

as well as seeing old friends at Church on Sunday morning! You know they say that the best things in life are family and friends...but I say it's even better when friends are like family and family are like friends! (Tweet this)

God is so good to us!

Monday morning we left bright and early for our second leg of the trip. This time we drove this beautiful conversion van that has been gifted to us.

                                                   Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

This will really come in handy for our Mexico Missions team at Journey!! They drive to Mexico every other month...now this van will be a huge blessing!!   Our  Journey Women's Ministry will be using it for trips as well!!  

Thanks so much for letting me share this leg of our trip with you. I hope that you will join me in the next post, where we will be visiting with family in Ohio. Stay with me through the third and final post and you will get to see some of the great pics I took while driving across this great and beautiful nation!  

But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and His righteousness with their children's children...Psalm 103:17